Administrators for the Beaver Area School District have begun taking action against the mysterious Chia-Pet-like-Blob that had originally sprung from the high school’s AstroTurf.

Saying the blob’s green bananas were too low hanging for comfort, administrators at the district made the decision to start harvesting them.

As a result of the pruning, the once harmless Green Blob now appears to be rapidly decaying into a toxic black mold.

Fearing the green banana problem may become systemic, the high school has begun development of new uniforms for its men’s swim team, which they describe as “aqua jeans”. It’s also reported that they’re developing a parka-like uniform for their new wrestling team, and are hoping to work with other districts to make the sport less reliant on “actual human-on-human contact”.

The future of the mysterious Green Blob remains uncertain.

[Editor's Note: No students were involved in our reporting of this breaking news. Our apologies to the Beaver Area School District for not providing them with disciplinary options.]

Beaver School District: “Yes, We Have No Bananas!”

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